Three Crazy Authors and the Fic They Done Wroted
by DJ Nox
Summary: Inside are some short stories of comical Fushigi Yuugi fan fiction pasted together by three different authors. Inside you will find, action, excitement, romance, and even cows! Chapter 4 up- Grand Theft Kasa!
1. Romantic Evening...or Total Chaos?

Three Crazy Authors and the Fic they Done Wroted

Written by: DJ Tifa, SuperSatoshi, and Ben (tarwyn00@hotmail.com)

The other two have pen names on FanFiction.net. Enjoy!

Author's note: Hey all, Tifa speaking. This fanfic is what happens when SS, Ben, and myself are high on pixie stix, drunk on Gatorade, and feel like writing a fanfic. Just note that all three of us are writing this so the styles of writing will contrast each other. Oh well, makes it all the more funny. This fic has some shounen-ai in it (I was one of the authors, go figure) and some major innuendos. *snicker* Anyways, read and enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tasuki enters Chichiri's room in the late night. Why he was going there, he's certain to make up a lie. Because...those who have a certain desire for something tend to...lie...oh whatever.

"Chichiri, I can't sleep," Tasuki speaks softly, in a seductive way.

"Then why don't you come over here...no da..."

Tasuki began to tiptoe towards the window, when suddenly there was a large shattering sound. When he looked, he saw an army of cyborg ninjas, with lasers in one hand, and lightsabers in the other, as they began to slice and shoot away with random aim.

One of the ninjas was about to attack Chichiri, when out of the blue, a teenage girl popped into the room. She took out a giant mallet and whapped all of the ninjas to death then zapped them away. She then faced the now very confused Tasuki and Chichiri and said, "Ninjas are evil, ne? Anyway, you two can go back to what you were doing!" she finished with a grin, then disappeared.

Tasuki blinked. "And just what the hell was THAT supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, no da. A lot of people seem to think that all we do in our spare time is have gay sex, no da."

"They do?! Well isn't THAT just sick?!" Tasuki took out a cigarette and lit it. "I refuse to do ANY sexual activity without a raise..."

Gentlemen, gentlemen please, stick to the scripts all right?

Tasuki threw away the cigarette. "Fine, c'mere, Chichiri..."

Then suddenly, for no apparent reason, an army of ninjas materialized from thin air! Only to disappear, never to return again. Ever. Ever, ever, ever. *Cough*

Ever.

*Eh em* I don't write yaoi fics so I'm just gonna...skip this part. If you REALLY wanna know what happened go read one of the 9891723891273891 Tas/Chi yaoi fics on this site. Anyways, after they finished....meditating...they...fell asleep.

Really, they did.

Oh, but that's what you think. Let's be cruel for a brief moment, and show the final SEVEN SECONDS OF THE HOT, HOT MEDITATING ACTION!

During the middle of the night, both Tasuki and Chichiri were awakenened by muffled groans and grunting from Miaka and Tamahome's room.

"Damn, they're so loud, no da!" complained Chichiri with a frown.

"Hey, Chichiri, I bet we can make more noise than they can!" answered Tasuki with a sly smile.

And so, the ENTIRE damn place was kept awake the ENTIRE damn night because of certain groaning, grunting, yelling, etc sounds.

The next morning...

Still bloodshot awake from the horror of the previous night, everybody lay on their backs in their beds, not daring to move, not daring to say anything.

"Uh...Chichir--" didn't you hear me, you moron?! I said NOT daring! NOT!

"What, no da? I'm just getting some food! You perverted, sexy...hot...fang boy..."

Suddenly, loud, heavy footsteps could be heard down the hall as the large door is pushed open, an angry Hotohori entering the room.

"Okay, can ANYBODY explain to me WHAT the hell was going on last night?!"

"Uh, we, it's, uh, simple actually..." Tasuki replied.

"We, uh, were, having a wrestling match, no da!" Chichiri answered.

"...completely naked?"

"EEP!" the two threw themselves under the bed covers.

Hotohori sighed and walked out of the room, mumbling, and slammed the door shut.

"Well...now that he's gone...." Tasuki started, looking at Chichiri with a VERY perverted grin on his face.

Just as tasuki and chichiri started getting 'comfortable' , a HUGE groan of ecstasy came from the next room. "What was that?!" exclaimed Chichiri and Tasuki at the same time

Rushing to the next room, they pulled the door open. "Oh my God!" both exclaimed simultaneously.

On the bed was Chiriko and Ashitare, in a 'meditating' position.

What they didn't realize is that they were staring at a picture of a bizarre painting in the disturbing position, and was underneath was the Tama neko...who seemed to be groaning in pain.

"It's just the cat, no da," Chichiri replied.

"I think he's sick..." Tasuki suggested.

The two then went back to their room, closed the door, and proceeded to get... 'comfortable' again.

Unfortunatly, one of the authors of this fanfic does not want much hentai in this fic, so we'll skip to a few hours later.

Suddenly, Tamahome bursts in the door. "Hey guys, I just saw an ice cream truck drive by! Let's get some!"

"YEAH!" shouted Chichiri and Tasuki, and they all raced downstairs to get some ice cream.

As they walk up front, they all purchase some vanillia ice cream in a plastic bowl and begin to eat with chopsticks. I don't know if it's possible to do that, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Anyway. Later on...uh...because I said so, there was another Star Festival. This time, the people who went were Tasuki, Chichiri, Miaka, Tamahome, Hotohori (under disguise....sorta), and Nuriko.

The characters from FY bump into a ninja girl named Misao Makimachi. "The hell're YOU doing here, Misao? You're in the wrong anime!" screamed Tasuki.

Tasuki then proceeded to chase Misao all around the festival. "Get away from our anime!"

Chichiri suddenly gasped. "Oh crap, no da! I've just remembered!"

"What's wrong, Chichiri?" Miaka asked, finally getting a line of dialogue in this pointless fan fiction.

"Tama neko! We just...ran out on him, we think he's sick, no da!"

"What happened?" Miaka asked again.

"We saw him in a bedroom this morning, he was really sick, and groaning very loudly, no da!"

"You mean all that groaning we heard was Tama neko?" Tamahome asked.

"No duh, no da!"

"...run that by me again?" Hotohori asked.

"Oh, geez, I thought it was you and Chichiri!"

Everyone ran back to the room, just in time to see Tama neko give birth to seven kittens.

"Tama-neko's FEMALE?!" everyone yells in complete, total shock.

Chichiri looked closely at the kittens. "Hmm...they all seem to look like Mitsukake a little, no da..."

Everyone turned to Mitsukake, whose face was completely red. "Umm...well...I was a hermit! I got lonely!"

Hotohori, Nuriko, Miaka, Tamahome, Tasuki, and Miaka simply screamed and ran out, back to the Star Festival. Miaka and Tamahome proceeded to the food court, thanks to Miaka's insisting. Nuriko and Hotohori headed to play some of the games, while Tasuki and Chichiri went to the ferris wheel.

Miaka sat with several dishes of food in front of her. "SUGOI! Now, I am going to eat all of this food VERY fast! Faster than the speed of light! MUHAHAHA, watch me defy laws of physics once again!"

Tamahome blinked once, and all of the food was completely gone. "What the hell?!"

"Hee! I did the impossible again!" Miaka replied, belching afterwards.

Tamahome sweatdropped. "The things writers do for comic relief when it's not necessary..."

Meanwhile...on the ferris wheel, Tasuki and Chichiri climbed in and rolled to the top, when suddenly a loud screech is heard, as the ferris wheel stops.

"Oh no, we're stuck on top..." Tasuki blurted.

Chichiri sighed and asked him, "Well, what now, no da?"

Tasuki grinned and got that usual gleam in his eyes.

"Chichiri, I want you to be honest with me," Tasuki asks.

"Of course, no da!" Chichiri smiles in reply.

Tasuki pulls a box out from his pocket and shows what seems to be an engagement ring and shows it to Chichiri. "Chichiri..."

"...Tasuki..."

"...what do you think the worth of this engagement ring is? I'm sure I can get some MAJOR BUCKS if I sell it as some pawn shoppe for a hefty asking price..." Tasuki chuckled evilly.

Chichiri sighed. "I should have known, no da..."

"Huh? What?"

Suddenly the ferris wheel jerked back in motion and they reached the bottom. At the bottom, Miaka approached the ferris wheel and saw what Tasuki held in his hand.

"Oh my God!" Miaka exclaimed, "are you proposing to Chichiri?!"

Tasuki's face turned the color of his hair. "N-no! I was just wondering how much this ring would sell for!" he stated, smiling his famous fanged grin. Unfortunatly, he wasn't looking next to him and didn't see the extremely sad look on Chichiri's face.

Elsewhere, Hotohori was in a mirror shop, admiring his beauty. Good God, how many times a day does he have to stand in front of the mirror admiring himself. The whole world isn't HIM, you know and, oh whatever.

"Hmph, silly Nuriko, acting as another beautiful man. It's simply clear that I am THE most beautiful man to ever exist in this world..."

He then began to sing to himself. "My loneliness, is killing me...I must confess, I still believe..."

Tamahome groaned. "Miaka, why are we back at the food court?"

"I forgot to get desert!"

"But we're practically broke..."

Back at the hotel, Mitsukake snuck back into Tama neko's room. "Aww, what beautiful children I have," he said to himself, hugging one close. After a while, he fell asleep.

We return to the festival. Phew, the back and forth is making me dizzy. Anyway, Chichiri and Tasuki were walking along trying to find Miaka when they bumped into somebody.

"Oops, I'm sorry ma'am," Tasuki responded.

"It's me, you idiot," Hotohori muttered, rubbing his head.

Tasuki and Chichiri shrugged and headed to the food court. They bought some cotton candy to eat. Just as they were about to eat it, it disappeared.

"What the hell?!" Tasuki exclaimed. He looked and saw Miaka standing near them, with some cotton candy stuck to her mouth.

"Mrrr?" Miaka said, looking at Tasuki and Chichiri with a confused look. "Wasn't me!" she said with her mouth full. "Gotta run!" She dashes off.

Tasuki sighs. "I don't think we'll ever get food this way."

Suddenly, a loud, high-pitched scream was heard in the background.

Tasuki gasped. "What was that?"

"It sounded like a high-pitched girly scream, no da!" Chichiri replied.

"Let's go check it out!"

"Why, no da?"

"Because we're nosy little buggers or something! We ARE anime characters after all, damn it!"

"Oh, right, no da!"

As our two sexy, oh so hot heros dash to the sceen, they see Hotohori, kneeling on the ground.

"Hotohori, no da?!" Chichiri exclaimed.

"Some BASTARD stole my mirror!" Hotohori replied.

Tasuki coughed. "Okay, that's it. Gather everyone, we're going back NOW!"

* * *

"I am NOT going to wear the damn dress!" Tasuki exclaimed.

"Oh come on, no da, one of us has to be the bride!" Chichiri reassured.

"I am NOT going to walk around in make-up and a freakin' bushy dress! I'm not Nuriko, okay?!"

Chichiri sighed. "Then I don't know what we'll do, no da..."

"Well, you're already wearing a dress-thing anyway, why can't YOU wear the stupid dress?"

"WHAT, no da?! This is a robe!"

"Yeah, whatever, it's pretty damn close..."

The priest holding an open bible in front of the two arguing clears his throat. "If you don't mind, Tasuki, you should stop saying such language in the house of God. That four-letter word you said earlier won't work here, either."

"Sorry, sorry, just get to the kiss part, okay?"

"Very well. I now announce you husband and...whatever, you may kiss each other!"

Chichiri and Tasuki kissed, and they lived happily ever after!

There, now that wasn't too bad, now was it? Oh, you'll be thanking us, because you don't want to be around for the 'bedroom scene'. I'm dead serious about that...

THE END!


	2. Revenge of the Cows

Revenge of the Cows

Written by: DJ Tifa, SuperSatoshi, and Kai Li 

These are our pen names on FanFiction.net. Enjoy!

Note from Tifa: This is our second short (well it's actually somewhat long) story. We'll continue writing them if we get enough reviews. *smile* Read and enjoy the craziness!

__________________________________________________________________

"Help, no da!" a scream from outside yelled.

Tasuki, who wondered what happened to his new husband, dashed to the backyard, to see a cow, with a face exactly like Chichiri's mask. "Okay, Chichiri, that was an AWFUL joke..."

"I'm serious, no da! I've been turned into a cow! MOO, no da!"

"What the hell?! Who did this to you, Chiri-chan?!" Tasuki yelled. 

Chichiri-cow answered, "I don't know, no da moo! I was just standing here when I found myself a cow, no da moooo!"

Suddenly, an evil laughter came from...somewhere, as a weird, cloud-like...thing appeared, and looked straight into Chichiri and Tasuki. "I...am the Cow god," he said.

Tasuki coughed. "That's it? No explosions, no fireworks? Talk about a crappy entrance..."

"Quiet...the cows are disturbed lately. They are sick and tired of being killed, and it's up to me, to prevent more of them from dying."

"You only die once, no da. MOO, no da!"

"And why are you in the form of a cloud?"

"I'm a GOD, you idiot!"

"Right...god..."

"SHUT UP!"

Miaka suddenly pops out of no where and spots a cow. "Ooohh, munchies!" she shrieks and runs after Chichiri the cow. 

Chichiri, hearing something that sounded like a crappy war cry, turns around and screams, "Tasuki-chan! Save me! Miaka-sama's gone berserk!"

Out of NOWHERE, the teenage girl from the first fic popped out and zapped Chichiri back to normal. "Chichiri will NOT be eaten!" she said, sweatdropping. She then poofed away. Not long afterwards, an evil looking psycho dude jumps from the sky and zaps Chichiri back to his cow form before vanishing. Don't know why the Cow god didn't do it...

Miaka shrugged. "Fair enough..."

Tasuki let out a heavy sigh. When he next looked at Miaka, he saw her drinking a large glass of milk.

"Mmm...so warm and creamy! Not like at home, where the milk has to be cleaned!" Miaka grinned contentedly.

"She squeezed too hard, no da. I'm sore, no da. MOO, no da!"

Tasuki glares at Miaka and says, "How dare you touch my Chiri-chan!"

Chichiri sweatdrops and replies, "It's okay Tasuki-chan, it didn't hurt THAT much..."

Miaka stopped drinking and looked at the Chichiri cow. "A talking cow?!" she exclaims.

"If you even bothered to come LOOK at his face, you'd realize it's Chichiri!" Tasuki crossed his arms.

Miaka runs beside Tasuki and looks back and forth from his face to Chichiri's face. "Chichiri?! But, how?!"

"I don't know how it happened, no da."

"No, I mean HOW can you be a cow? Cows are female!" She looked at what remained of the milk and dumped it onto the grass. "I can't believe I just drank milk that came from Chichiri's--"

"Okay, you know what? Why don't we go and summon Taiitsukun somewhere. Maybe that old bag can tell us how to get this...curse-thing off of Chichiri."

"DAMN IT, WILL YOU STOP IGNORING ME?!" the Cow god exclaimed.

Everyone looks up at the bloated cloud. "That's better," the Cow god bellowed.

Miaka ponders and says, "Hey Mr. Cow god dude, would you, by any chance, be able to come down here?" she grins evilly.

Tasuki and Chichiri look at Miaka like she's some kind of food-crazed girl as they shake their heads. "She'll never change," Tasuki mutters.

The Cow god dude thing replied, "No! You will suffer!" and laughed evilly as he poofed away. Everyone just...sweatdropped.

"Damn! I wanted to eat him!" Miaka exclaimed.

Tasuki groaned. "His exit's worse than his entrance!"

"Um...I'm still a cow, no da."

Chichiri whimpers and looks as if he's going to cry. Tasuki pats Chichiri the cow on the head and says in a comforting voice, "Don't worry Chiri-chan, we'll find a way somehow to get you back to your original form."

Chichiri, Tasuki, and Miaka start heading towards where Taiitsukun is. When they get there, Taiitsukun poofs in front of them.

"Hello everyone. What are you--AAHHH WHAT IS THIS COW DOING HERE?!" she yelled.

Tasuki sweatdropped. "The least you could do is use less smoke when poofing yourself," he replied, coughing.

"Some evil Cow god thing came and changed me into this, no da! He said something like, the cows want revenge, no da! Moo, no da!"

The old hag with the countless wrinkles gasped. "Then the prophecy of the global Cow Wars is coming true," she stated.

"Global Cow Wars? Okay, no offense, but that sounds really stupid," Miaka comments.

Chichiri stares at Taiitsukun and asks, "Is this some stupid joke, no da?!"

Taiitsukun laughs and says, "The cows want revenge! They're going to revolt and take over the world! I don't know why they chose you, Chichiri, because you don't eat cows."

Chichiri whines and sobs hysterically.

Tasuki pouts and shouts "Goddammit! What did we do to deserve this?!"

Taiitsukun clears her throat and says, "You must find the five Cow relics. They are scattered across Konan."

"Wha?! THIS IS LIKE SOME TYPICAL RPG!" yelled Miaka.

"Oh wait, I know what will help!" Taiitsukun reached into her pocket and pulled out something. "I forgot, this cures the curse of the cow."

"What is it?" Tasuki asks.

"Manure..."

Miaka blinks. "And..."

"It's obvious, isn't it?! He has to EAT IT!"

Everybody turned pale, as Taiitsukun laughed. "It's a joke, it's a joke! It's actually a brownie. It's one of those cakes from Miaka's world. All he has to do is eat it, and he'll return to nor--hey, where is it?"

Miaka was licking her lips. "Mmm! It's been AGES since I had a brownie!"

Everybody face faults.

"Miaka, you idiot! Chichiri was supposed to eat that! Now we have to go and find the relics!" Tasuki clenched a fist. "Oh, Chiri-chan, I'll love you, even if you ARE a cow!"

"Thanks, Tasuki...I think. Moo, no da."

"But...If Chichiri stays a cow forever, I might be tempted to eat him!" Miaka exclaims. 

Chichiri screams in horror and hides behind Tasuki.

"Nuh uh, you're not getting near him!"

"So where is the first relic, no da?" Chichiri asked.

Taiitsukun said, "The first relic is at a lake around Mount Reikaku. There will be a clue there to find the next relic, also."

"Well what are we waitin' for?! Let's get movin'!" Tasuki yelled. The small group then headed towards Mount Reikaku.

So the group moved out quickly to get the first relic. They eventually managed to arrive at the exact location. "I guess we dig or something," Tasuki said, as he took out a mini-shovel and started digging.

"Hey, it's a box," Miaka replied, picking up. "There's a lock on it."

"Leave that to me." Tasuki picked out some lock picks and managed to get the box open. There was a big glow from inside the box.

"Ooh..." Everybody awed.

"KICK-ASS!" Tamahome who appeared from God knows where, picked up what was inside. "It's a naked chick!"

Miaka sweatdropped and took what was in Tamahome's hands. "A porno magazine?!"

"Whatever THAT is, gimme, gimme, gimme!"

"THIS is the first relic, no da?!" Chichiri asked. Chichiri sighs and looks up at Tasuki. "Tasuki-chan..."

Tasuki pats Chichiri the cow and replies, "It's okay! We'll turn you back to normal!" He grins his toothy grin and grabs the magazine from the drooling Tamahome. "Gimme that, you!"

"Okay, we have the first relic, that leaves four left," Miaka states.

"Ooh, on another quest for adventure?" Tamahome asks.

"Sort of, we need to find relics to change Chichiri back go normal," Tasuki explains.

"Yeah, speaking of Chichiri, where is he...?"

"Right in front your eyes, no da!" Chichiri the cow exclaims.

"You transformed into a cow?" Tamahome's face turned beet red, as he tried to maintain his laughter.

"Oh, knock it off, no da! I hate being like this! I've never felt so fat in my entire--Miaka, what are you doing now, no da?"

Miaka sweatdropped, with another full glass of milk in her hand. "Um...I got thirsty, I hope you don't mind." She gulped the glass and sighed contentedly.

"Don't make a habit of this, no da..."

Tamahome looked inside the box that contained the porno magazine and found a note. Its contents read: 'The next relic is found where no light can reach...deep in a watery grave--oh, to hell with this, it's in the underwater cave in this lake. Just dive in and get it. These notes are really stupid...'

Everybody sweatdrops.

Tasuki, looking confident, starts taking off his shirt (Yeah girls start drooling =P). He dives into the lake gracefully swimming around. Everybody else removed a piece of clothing, and followed Tasuki into the lake.

Suddenly, Tasuki starts squirming and racing to the surface. "AHHHH WATER!! I CAN'T SWIM!!" he screams loudly. Chichiri, being a cow, floats aimlessly on the lake's surface. 

Chichiri sweatdrops. "If you don't know how to swim, why did you jump into the water, no da?"

"SHUT UP! HELP ME!"

Chichiri sighed. "Fine, climb up on my back no da. And watch where you place your feet, no da!"

Tasuki scrambled to get onto Chichiri's back, then sighed in relief. "That was scary, I was afraid I was going to drown..."

"MOO! MOO, no da!"

"Stop that! You're going to make me fall off!"

Tamahome and Miaka eventually found a cave. They entered it and swam up. It lead into a small, airy clearing with another treasure chest.

Miaka kicked the treasure chest, and it opened. There was the second relic and another note. The note read: 'The third relic is hidden underneath a big fat sleeping dragon. Location: Er...due to my short memo, I can't remember...eh heh...sorry heroes!'

Miaka looked into the box. "For the love of God..."

"What, what?"

Miaka picked up the relic and showed it to Tamahome. "It's a pink pair of panties...with bunnies all over it."

"I'm not blind Miaka, I can see what they are..."

...

"...can you try them on for me?" Tamahome asks.

Miaka face faults. "I'm not going to change into a God knows how old pair of panties just for entertainment, let's just, get out of here!"

They swam back to the surface and went to the shore, where Tasuki and Chichiri the cow were waiting.

They showed them the next clue.

Tasuki pouted and yelled, "The f*ck's wrong with these notes?!"

Chichiri thought for a moment and said, "I think I heard a legend of an old dragon that lived in the mountains of northern Kutou, no da..."

"Hmm?" everyone else asks Chichiri.

"Hai, no da! The legends say a fiery dragon dwells in those mountains protecting his treasure from intruders and robbers, ne na no da. Um, the scripts I read about the myth ends here."

So our heroes venture forth to find the next relic, that is apparently under some obese dragon. However, will they get there? Only time will tell...

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Just kidding! Like we'd ever do THAT to you...hey, that's not a bad idea...*ahem*

Anyway, they travelled until they reached northern Kutou. The group walked through the mountain range until the temperature started getting hotter.

"Whew, it sure is hot here, no da!" Chichiri exclaimed.

Tasuki grinned pervertedly and said, "When you become a human again, I know a couple of things to do that'll make ya feel even hotter, Chiri-chan."

Everyone sweatdropped.

Chichiri simply kicked Tasuki.

As they got a bit higher, the dragon came into full view. It was the widest thing anybody has ever seen. Geez, look at the size of this thing. If there is a relic here, I hope it hasn't been crushed by that dragon...

"Look, no da, it's right under its nose," Chichiri points.

"Who's gonna go get it?" Miaka asks.

"Well, since I'm pretty much perfect in any muscular form possible..." He walked behind Tasuki and started to shove him towards the dragon. "I believe that Tasuki's perfect for getting this relic..."

"Wh-hey, stop pushing me! The note said it's supposed to be UNDER the dragon!"

"Stop yelling you moron, you'll wake it up..." Tamahome whispered.

"LIKE I GIVE A F*CK!"

There was a silent growl from the dragon, as its eyes opened, the first thing it sees being Tasuki and Tamahome.

"Well," Tamahome grinned. "...AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he turned around and dashed away, with the dragon trying hard to stand up.

Tasuki pointed and laughed. "Look at this everybody, this dragon's so fat, it can't even stand up!" He continued to laugh, as he was soon engulfed comically in flames. He exhaled smoke, as everything on Tasuki was charred black. "Ow..."

As the dragon tried to fly, it moved slightly off the ledge of the mountain before giving up, and collapsing down the cliff to its horrible, bloody death.

"Well, that was easy, no da!" Chichiri smiled.

"Speak for yourself," Tasuki coughed.

Tamahome saw a box pounded flat into the ground, as he pulled it up. He wiped some of the dust off as he opened the chest. What he saw was a small square of paper, that was slightly inflated in the center.

"Hey, what's this?" Tasuki asks.

Tamahome shrugged. "I don't know...it's really thick. Miaka, what do you think?"

Miaka's face was beet red, as she walks forward and snatches the item from Tamahome's hand. "You...don't need to know what it is," she replied, sticking the item into her pocket.

Miaka then went over and read the clue for the next relic, as they went to get that, and then the final one. I'd go into more detail, but this fic's getting a little bit long, ne?

Now, it's the final showdown between the Cow god thing, and, everybody else.

"MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" the evil thing laughed. "You are too late! You waited too long, and now, it's all MINE! MINE I TELL YOU! AS IN CONQUERED!"

"...you're holding a glass bottle, no da," Chichiri the cow replied. "Moo, no da."

"Yes, that's right! The cows want TOTAL revenge...and THIS IS HOW IT WILL BE DONE!" He takes the glass bottle, and tosses it violently to the ground, shattering it to millions of pieces.

Miaka blinked. "What the hell was that supposed to prove...?"

"Next time humans, think twice before killing more of the COWS, because NEXT time...I'll destroy a WINDOW!"

A mockery gasp was created by all. 

"MWA HA HA HA HA HA!" the Cow god cackled, as a ray of light was flashed over Chichiri, changing his physical form back into a human. "NOW YOU HAVE BEEN PUNISHED!" he yelled, poofing away.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"Ya know, he could have at LEAST put in a cool explosion," Tasuki commented. "This villain just sucks. But I don't think we'll ever see him again."

Miaka finished another glass of milk. "Yep! We won!"

"Miaka, how did you get that, no da?" Chichiri asked.

"I snuck in a glass before he changed you back!"

Chichiri sweatdropped. He and Tasuki then gave each other seductive looks as they ran back inside the palace-thing where they reside...

Miaka and Tamahome were now alone outdoors.

"So...what do we do with the relics?"

Miaka grinned. "Burn them..."

"What?! No, at least let me have the magazine."

"Nope, sorry!" Miaka laughed, running inside, with Tamahome following her.

And, so ends this really, really, really, REALLY stupid story, and hopefully, there will be another one! So tune in whenever you feel like, for another wacky, stupid adventure!

THE END!


	3. Titanic: Fushigi Yuugi style, no da!

Titanic: Fushigi Yuugi Style, no da!  
  
  
WARNING: This is yet another fic doing the whole "Another Horrible Tragedy Being Taken by Hollywood to Make it a Romantic Flick" thing so...you have been warned! Attack of the spoof!  
  
Note from Tifa: We had a LOT of fun writing this. *snicker* I hope ya enjoy this fic! Just be warned, it's full of crazyness and quite a bit of shounen-ai (whaddya expect, I haven't written/been part of writing a non-shounen ai fic in months). Buy your popcorn, sit down, and enjoy the show!  
  
  
  
Written by: SuperSatoshi, DJ Tifa, and Kai_Li  
  
  
__________________________________________________________________  
  
It was a bright and sunny day, and here, in a port in some land, or something, lands a big ship. It's supposed to be a kick-ass ship, apparently God himself can't sink it! Pfft, what idiots. God can't destroy a man-made creation? How stupid!  
  
On the dock near the big-ass ship, a carriage pulled up. It stopped and the door opened. A woman stepped out--hey, isn't that Nuriko? Anyway...  
  
Another man stepped out...looks like...Tamahome? What's he doing here? ...Oh well.  
  
The last person to step out was another woman, but younger than the first one. *squint* Hey...she looks familiar...WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S CHICHIRI! WHAT'S HE DOING DRESSING LIKE A GIRL?!  
  
Nuriko tries to flatten her ruffles on her dress with no success. Chichiri yawns and look around. Tamahome is busy...counting his money.  
  
A loud shout is heard and you see a man with flaming orange hair running through the crowd pushing a buncha people aside. "Woooo!! I got a ticket!!" the young man screamed.  
  
"Mwa ha ha ha! I stole it all for myself! It is all mine! WAHAHAHA, I love being a thief! Now, I will escape on this ship, so I do not get caught, and get thrown to jail! WAHAHA, I am BRILLIANT!" he replied, dashing away.  
  
"Mom....are you sure we have to go on this ship?" Chichiri asked. Nuriko sighed and said, "Of course dear. We're going to America!" Nuriko then leaped up and down happily. Chichiri sweatdropped.  
  
"Come along, honey..." Tamahome almost looked green having to call Chichiri that, "we'd better get going on the ship already..."  
  
The captain of the big-ass ship stepped out from his quarters and greeted the passengers as they boarded it. The young man with the flaming orange hair leaped onto the ship past Chichiri. Chichiri frowned and glared at the hooligan and yelled, "Watch where you're going lower classman!"  
  
"What'd you say?!" the guy with the flaming orange hair screamed.  
  
"Your clothes are obviously horrifically classed, there is no way that YOU could be rich..."  
  
"How could you be so sure? I DID manage to steal Bill Gates' wallet once," he replied, grinning.  
  
"So you are just a horrible thief. Hmph," Chichiri replied, walking away.  
  
"What a bitch..." Tasuki grumbled and walked off.  
  
While Chichiri was away, the guy with the flaming orange hair sneaked into the first class dining room. He snatched a few morsels here and there tasting everything he could get his hands on.  
  
Afterwards, he dashed away into the main hall, and looked inside his sack, which obtained some of the things he had swiped.  
  
"Yuck," he commented, throwing away the chicken leg. "Too raw." He then looked at a small jar of caviar. "Sick," he threw that away as well.  
  
He then pulled out a very expensive bottle of champagne. Wow, how'd he get that? He took a small sip. "Geez! This stuff is weak!" He then threw it, hearing a shattering sound with a woman's scream following afterward.  
  
Chichiri screamed as the champagne bottle hit his (her?) mother's face. "Ahhh! Mother! Are you okay?" Chichiri asked.   
  
"So many rude people here! Hmph!" Nuriko muttered angrily, "Hmm? Oh yes dear I'm fine..."  
  
"Who in blazes would be ever so rude enough to throw a champagne bottle?" Chichiri asks. "It's asking for trouble."  
  
"You are right, my dear, but come, let's get inside and get some dinner."  
  
"Mother, are you certain that you are all right?"  
  
"Yes, yes, dear, I'm fine, I'll get a quick dinner...and possibly a few dozen asprin to cure this awful headache..."  
  
Chichiri and Nuriko walked into the dining room. Their eyes widened at the site of eaten food tossed carelessly all over the place. Broken plates littered the floor. A few sake bottles could be seen lying under the table cloths. Waiters yell at each other wondering who would leave such a mess.  
  
"This ship is becoming less appealing to me every moment I stand here," Nuriko commented.  
  
"Come, let us go to our room for a rest," Chichiri offered. "We can't stay here while there's a horrible mess here..."  
  
Nuriko started heading towards the room. Chichiri thought for a moment, then headed out to the back of the ship. He stood at the very edge, looking down. Time seemed to slow to a standstill.  
  
"DAMN IT! Why do I get picked to play a suicidal character, no da?!" he whined.  
  
Time returned to its normal pace as Tasuki runs by, ramming into Chichiri. Chichiri nearly loses his balance and is about to fall over into the water, but Tasuki grabs Chichiri by his/her dress just in time.  
  
"Ahhh, no da!" Chichiri screams in terror.   
  
"Bah you're heavy! Stop scre--oof!" Tasuki gasped. The two are seen in an...interesting position (o.O;; )  
  
"Are you saying I'm fat, no da?!" Chichiri exclaimed.  
  
"Um, no, it's just that...oh forget it, just get off before somebody sees--"  
  
There was a loud gasp. "Chichiri?! What in blazes do you think you're doing?!" Nuriko exclaims, before turning her attention to Tasuki. "And YOU, what do you think you're doing?! Trying to rape my daughter?!"  
  
"Um, no, ma'am, she's on top of me, and we are fully clothed..."  
  
Nuriko stood still in silence for a few brief moments. "Whatever. Chichiri, come, you must get away from this scum..."  
  
Nuriko pulled Chichiri away, back to the 1st class place thing. Chichiri cast one more glance at Tasuki, who gave a small smile and waved.  
  
A few minutes later, Tasuki blinked. "Damn. She's...something. But...is she really a SHE?! I coulda sworn that--ah, forget it, too confusin'...damn upper class people..." he said to himself.  
  
Nuriko lectures Chichiri about how he/she should only be around and communicate with upper-class citizens. "Talking to lower class citizens doesn't do us any good! They're dirty and unmannerly," Nuriko tells Chichiri.  
  
Chichiri stares blankly at the wall wondering when all this boring talk is going to end. Chichiri wonders about how life would be like if he/she was a lower-class citizen.   
  
Tasuki walked out of the dining room, sipping a full bottle of champagne. "Now THIS is good stuff..." As he turned his head, he spotted Chichiri, staring at him from a higher level of the ship.  
  
He/she then turned to walk away, as Tasuki began to climb up the stairs to try and reach him/her in time. "Wait! Please! I want to talk to you!"  
  
"I can't, my mother won't let me, no da."  
  
"To hell with your mother! I wanna talk to ya!" Tasuki exlaimed.  
  
Chichiri sighed nervously and stated, "Well...I guess it can't hurt, no da...."  
  
Tasuki fidgeted a bit and said, "Uh...well...I was just kinda wondering...if you would like to go to a party with me in the 3rd class party room? I mean, you dun have ta...but I can see how ya kinda dun like your lifestyle much. Maybe ya should try something different? So, whaddya say?"  
  
Chichiri secretly smiles and says, "I'll think about it."  
  
Tasuki's eyes widen in disbelief and exclaims, "Well, I hope ya decide to come! It's going to be really fun, ya know!" Tasuki laughs and grins.   
  
Chichiri chuckles and tells Tasuki, "I have to go now. Goodbye...umm...what was your name?"  
  
Tasuki blinks and replies, "Tasuki, yours?"   
  
Chichiri says, "Chichiri. It was nice to meet you, Tasuki. Farewell now."  
  
So, skipping all of the boring dialogue within the next hour or so, Chichiri DOES decide to go to the party. He/she has a blast, and even danced with Tasuki a few times!  
  
They eventually found themselves running away from Chichiri's mother, for if she was found...nobody would be happy. Especially Tamahome, who wants to marry him/her.  
  
"Wow, look at all of these cars!" Tasuki yells in complete, total shock. "They're beauties! I wish I had one like these..."  
  
Tasuki runs up to a car and marvels at it. He pokes at the side mirrors and kicks the car's tires. "I was hoping one of 'em would fall apart..oh well," Tasuki says shruging.   
  
Chichiri giggles and walks up to a navy blue car. He/She enters it and sits down on one of the leathery seats. "Ooh, this is comfortable," Chichiri says.  
  
Tasuki sits down next to Chichiri.  
  
* * *  
  
A large hand swipes down the foggy window, wiping away excess fog from the steam inside of the car. "Geez," Tasuki begins, "we've been in here for twenty seconds and the car's already steamed up."  
  
"Yep, that's all we've been doing, no da. Sitting on our butts, no da."  
  
"For some reason, I feel that something was supposed to happen here..."  
  
Driven by some weird sensation, Tasuki wraps his arms around Chichiri's waist and pulls Chichiri closer to him. Chichiri stares into Tasuki's eyes. The two engage into a deep kiss, their soft lips caressing each other.  
  
The two eventually broke away for some much needed air. "Ta-Tasuki...I...." Chichiri started. Tasuki cut him off with a kiss. "Chiri...we've only known each other for a short while...but I...I'm in love with ya..." he whispered.  
  
A smile spread across Chichiri's face. "I...I love you too, Tasuki...." The two were leaning in for another kiss when Chichiri pulled back abruptly.  
  
"Ano...Tas-chan? There's uh...something about me that I don't think you know, no da..." Chichiri whispered nervously.  
  
"Ne...? What?" asked Tasuki.  
  
"A-ano...ne....uh....I'm...I'm....I'm a guy..." Chichiri mumbled softly, a blush crossing his face.  
  
Tasuki stared for a moment in shock. Then everything just happened to make perfect sense. Cause I said it does. Yeah.  
  
Tasuki shrugged and embraced Chichiri again. "I don't mind, Chiri. I don't like women much anyways....anyways, makes it all the more interesting," he said with a wink that bordered on suggestive.  
  
The two kissed deeply again, wrapping their arms around each other. Tasuki grinned and pushed Chichiri down on his back, kissing him again, letting his hands roam Chichiri's body.  
  
* * *  
  
After the giant meditation fest, *cough*, the two decide to move out to the dock of the ship. Chichiri ran to the bow and spread his arms out. "Looky me, no da! I'm flying!"  
  
"Yeah...that's really great..."  
  
"Oh my GOD!" the captain exclaimed. "There's a gigantic sushi box in our way, we can't avoid it in time!"  
  
"Oh no!" some of the crew replied.  
  
Miaka suddenly pops in and says, "I'll save you all!!" and she pounced onto the sushi box and starts munching rapidly. The sushi box decreases in size at 1000cm/sec. The people on the ship scream, "Yay! We're saved!"  
  
Miaka belches loudly and jumps onto the ship grinning. "There ya go! I'm full now...see ya!" she waves and poofs away.  
  
Everyone thought they were saved..when all of a sudden...an iceberg appeared out of nowhere and the ship crashed into it! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!  
  
If you have an ounce of common sense, you'll know the ensuing events. Ship goes bye bye! People go bye bye!  
  
Tasuki and Chichiri sat on a floating piece of board, which thankfully, was big enough for the both of them. "The hell happened?!" Tasuki complained. "How'd the damn ship sink?"  
  
Chichiri looks around, screaming for his mother. "Well, I guess she's gone forever," Chichiri says looking at Tasuki.  
  
"Woooo!!" Tasuki says grinning.   
  
Chichiri chuckles and looks around for survivors.   
  
Tasuki asks Chichiri, "Hey, don't you feel weird in that fancy dress?"  
  
Chichiri looks at himself and says, "You're right no da! Lemme change back into normal clothing..." A fog of smoke covers Chichiri and he now has on his regular monkish clothing.  
  
Tasuki cheers and hugs Chichiri. "Hehe that's better," he says smiling.   
  
Chichiri picks up his kasa and says winking, "C'mon Tas-chan, a shortcut out of this mess." They hopped into the kasa and re-appeared in Konan.  
  
"Ano...Tas-chan...I was wondering, would you like to come travelling with me, no da?" Chichiri asked, smiling.  
  
Tasuki grinned. "Of course I would, Chiri-chan! Anything ta be with you..." he whispered, wrapping his arms around Chichiri's waist.  
  
The two drew closer and passionatly kissed. They lived the rest of their lives together, happily ever after.  
  
  
THE END!!!  
  
Please exit the theater, and don't forget your coats! Oh yeah, if the wallets in your coats mysteriously disappreared, we're innocent. We don't have 'em. *whistle* 


	4. Grand Theft Kasa

Grand Theft Kasa

Written by: Tifa, Susato, and Randy

Word. This is a short fan fiction that involves the popular PlayStation 2 game, "Grand Theft Auto 3". It's not a spoof as into insult the game, or mock it, but rather a "spin-off". It's actually quite a hilarious game, and I recommend that all of you each rent it...if you're the proper age. If you haven't played the game, don't worry, we still have a plot...sort of. If you HAVE played the game, this will make the experience that much more memorable...really...

Note from Tifa: HEY, HOW COME SUSATO ALWAYS GETS TO WRITE THE BEGINNING NOTES?! ...oh well, whatever. This fic is funny. So read. And review. Feedback makes us happy. Very happy. Note that the characters might be a bit OOC here but.....WHAT'S THE FUN OF KEEPING THEM TOTALLY IN CHARACTER?! Mwahahahaha! ....Ok, I'll shut up now. Read and review, OR ELSE I SEND THE CYBORG NINJAS AFTER YOU!

________________________________________________________________

Okay, so like, once there was this hat-thing. What was its name? Oh right, a kasa. And out of the kasa popped out a monk, in a robe, with a happy mask on. But this man was special, because, well, he knew magic. That's awesome! If I knew magic, none of my teachers would be alive right now! MWAHAHA--oops...this isn't right. *Ahem* Sorry. I'm going off topic. Now where was I?

Oh right, the kasa thing. Well, there he was, standing, until suddenly--

VRRRROOOOOOMMMMM!

A big blue car came blazing down the grassy fields of Ancient China. Wait a minute, how the hell did that car get there?!

"Mwahaha, I am here to steal something! Something that is seemingly important!" laughed a mysterious man siting in the driver's seat. Suddenly, he grabs Chichiri's kasa right off his head, and then drives away, while the monk just stands completely still...

A few minutes ticked by. The monk just continued standing there, wondering what in HELL that thing was.

"Oy! Chichiri!" his friend, Tasuki, yelled out, running over to him. "Did you see that...THING blaze by?! What the hell was it?!"

Chichiri shrugged. "Beats me, no da. The person in it took my kasa though no da."

"Why didn't you try to stop him?!"

"That would require effort, no da."

"Well, THEN LET'S GO GET IT TOGETHER!" Tasuki exclaimed, grabbing Chichiri by the arm and taking off at the speed of light towards wherever in hell the car was, pulling Chichiri behind him.

"OW! WATCH-WHERE-YOU'RE-GOING, NO-DA!!!" Chichiri screamed while slamming into plenty of rocks and boulders along the way.

Meanwhile in the car...

"Okay, so I stole this...straw...hat. Now what?" As soon as he threw the Kasa to the back seat, two figures popped out. 

"Uh...Miaka?"

"Tamahome..."

"Miaka..."

"Tamahome..."

"Miaka..."

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TWO?!"

Tamahome and Miaka looked at the rude driver, as they stopped repeating the phrase. Ignoring him, they continued to speak to each other, as the man then drove off, throwing both Miaka and Tamahome out of the car.

The guy kept driving ahead, and then, a picture appeared on the window: "Welcome to Portland!"

"At last, I'm away from that weird place. Okay, it's getting a bit dull, time for me to turn on the radio..."

What was on the station was 'Chatterbox', where people call in and ramble, mostly about nothing.

"Okay, like, I did my hair at seven this morning, and when I like, went outside, a bird crapped on me! It stunk SO bad, and then, like, I had to wash my hair again, and then, like, this time somebody threw an EGG on me, and then--"

"Yes, yes, thank you. I really loved that debate about 'Widowed War-makers'. This is DJ Lazlow, and I'll be back in a moment after I play a barrage of commercials."

The car swerved to a stop in front of a garage. The man got out of the car and strectched. He walked a few steps to open up the garage, where out of nowhere, some random Triad gang member runs over and hijacks the car, driving off.

"@#$%!!!" the man screamed. He cursed randomly as he looked for the nearest car to carjack.

Meanwhile...

Tasuki and Chichiri entered a huge, modern city. A screen appeared out of nowhere saying "Welcome to Portland".

"Portland...? This city looks like Miaka's world no da..." Chichiri observed.

Tasuki blinked and shrugged. "Well let's get one of those...mechanical thingys and find that man!"

The nameless man walked towards the nearest car and threw a person out of it. The person he grabbed just happened to be an old lady.

He was about to get into the car when the old lady threw him onto the floor and started kicking him. Chichiri, surprised, walked over and shoved the old lady aside.

The old lady let out a weird whistle. Oh no, this can't be good.

Before you can even say "No da", a giant mob of old women with rocket launchers were approaching the car.

"SH*~~~~~~~~~T!!!" Tasuki screamed.

Tasuki and Chichiri jumped into the car, Tasuki on the driver's side. Tasuki slammed on the pedal in the car and they went driving off, dodging rockets.

So Tasuki and Chichiri finally out-run the hot hot granny action, trying to find the car that had drove by them before.

"LOOK!" Chichiri pointed out, blocking Tasuki's vision. Next thing they knew, they had hit a car with red a red light on top of it.

Out of no where, more of these cars had just...appeared.

Next thing Tasuki knew, he was running over people in blue uniforms by accident, not knowing what else to do. It seemed...natural to do this.

At the corner of his eye, he saw two stars appear. "Huh? What the hell?"

"Um, Tasuki, no da..." Chichiri looked behind to see the blood smearing from the tires. "Uh, I don't think we should be hitting anymore people, I think they're seriously hurt..."

"I don't know how to stop this thing, so be quiet!" Tasuki pressed harder on the gas pedal, flattening more policeman and eventually knocking a nearby ambulance into a ditch!

"That didn't look good, no da," Chichiri comments.

Very soon, Tasuki found himself stopping in front of a set of railroad tracks. "Oh crap, it won't move anymore! What's wrong?!"

The two sat there, trying to figure out what in hell was going on. All of a sudden, they heard some loud sound. They looked to the side just in time to see a train heading straight for them.

"..."

They stared...then had some common sense knocked into them, and jumped out in the car just a second before the car got hit by the train.

Ouch....that's gotta hurt.

Tip of the day, kiddos....never stay in a car when it's in the middle of a railroad track unless you wanna get yourselves blown up. Believe me. Take it from someone who has personal experience.

Tasuki and Chichiri watched in amazment as the car did so many flips, it made Flipper look like a slipper (Note: Yes, I can rhyme...who CARES that it made no sense?!). However they were more amazed as it landed back down in perfect condition!

They noticed a bunch of hobos walking towards the car in the same amazement. However..when they all surrounded the car....

...

...

...

NOTHING HAPPENED!!! So they got in and drove off!

Back at station Chatterbox...

"A group of hobo's were seen driving a car! What shall we do?!"

BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM

"...Nevermind."

And the whole time, Tasuki and Chichiri were just watching... "Tasuki, what happened, no da?"

"Don't ask me..."

"I hope my kasa didn't explode, no da!"

"Oh hell..." Tasuki turned around and looked, Chichiri soon joined him. Soon, what looked like the FBI, and a bunch of armed old ladies ran towards them.

"Do we run, no da?" Chichiri asks.

"I...think we should..."

After a long, two hour getaway, the two bishies managed to lose the cops and FBI and army. So they're safe now. At least that's what it SEEMS like.

"Uh...Tasuki-chan, no da. Now what, no da? We have to find my kasa, no da!" Chichiri stated.

Tasuki shrugged. "I got no clue in hell where it is. Let's just hijack another car and look for the car that drove away with it."

Chichiri sweatdropped as Tasuki walked up to a random car and opened the door, throwing the passenger out. Unfortunatly, what Tasuki DIDN'T notice was that he just threw a Mafia dude out of the Mafiamobile.

Er. Mafia Senitel. Or however it's spelled. But I like to call it the Mafiamobile. BUT ANYWAY, MOVING ON.

"Uh, Tasuki..." Chichiri stated. "How do you know what a car is, no da?"

Tasuki sweatdropped. "I've...said too much. Come on, get in."

As soon as Chichiri gets in, Tasuki gasps. "Oh my GOD!" he exclaims. "It's a giant sushi box...AND IT'S HEADED STRAIGHT FOR US!"

"Step on it, no da!"

Tasuki turned on the engine and literally floored the pedal, zooming down the road, running over innocent rocks along the way. 

"How about some getaway music?" Tasuki suggests.

"Do you mind, no da?! We're going to die!"

"But we need music, Chichiri!" exclaimed Tasuki. So he turned on the radio, and out comes...Chatterbox! Right now, they have the organic food and kung fu dude talking.

As they're speeding down the streets of Liberty City, they listen to this, and Tasuki starts cracking up...too bad he was driving, since he crashed straight into a couple of Triad and mafia members...

Soon, they're listening to the shots of random guns and people running in front of them with bats, causing them to kill more...and soon they're chased by the LAUNDRY AND FISH TRUCKS!!!

"And now, a word from our sponsor," the radio DJ dude said. "If you're having a hard time relaxing, or just plain restless, then you should come down to the 'Big White Meditation Shop'. They have free lessons on how to properly meditate. Meditate with a partner, or meditate on your own! It's that easy. But hurry, lessons are only free until the end of the month!"

Chichiri flipped off the radio. "This is great, look at what you did, no da! Look at all these bodies!"

Tasuki laughed nervously. "Well, I never did say I knew how to stop..."

"You've really done a lot of damage today, no da! That's it, move over to the backseat, I'm driving!"

"You can't move back here!" Miaka replied, popping her head up.

"Geez, you guys really know how to kill the romance," Tamahome complained, his hair in a tangled mess.

"Uh, Miaka, your clothes are on backwards..." Tasuki said.

"Ugh!" Miaka ducked behind the seat. "Well, if you didn't decide to hijack this car, we would STILL be making love!"

"Don't you guys know about any OTHER romantic places to do your dirty work, no da?"

"Ugh, that's it! Come on, Miaka, let's go spend our honeymoon in a HOTEL room!" Tamahome ran his hands through his hair, in an attempt to straighten it out.

"That's what I want to hear!" Miaka replied, jumping out of the car with Tamahome behind her.

So, the two romantice drooling ones ran off, leaving Chichiri face faulted in the car, and Tasuki increasing the speed.

"Hey, wait a minute, no da! I think I see the guy that stole my kasa! Go around that corner to the left!" Tasuki starts to turn when suddenly--"NO TASUKI! The other left!"

"...I knew that!" And Tasuki makes a quick left, knocking into a police car. "Oh man, not again..."

"You really have to learn how to stop, no da," Chichiri commented.

Tasuki sped away once again. However, this time, from the corner of his eye...Chichiri spotted the car with the kasa!

Tasuki also noticed it and drove really fast to get to the car. He crashed into it, smashing it into a wall.

"Tasuki...I don't think that was necessary no da..." Chichiri said, sweatdropping.

"Hmm...there's another foot switch next to this one, I wonder if it has anything to do with the car...oh well, no time to figure that out. Come on, let's see if your kasa's in that car."

They both get out, and slowly approach the ruined car. As they look, they see the mysterious stranger...WITH THE KASA ON HIS HEAD!

"I'll take that, no da!" Chichiri said triumphantly, taking the kasa. "Now, let's get out of here..."

Chichiri went to use the Kasa, but then the police arrived and nearly ran into them! "Oh, damn! So that's what those stars are up there for!" pointed out Tasuki.

"Let's see we have...4...so does that mean..." Chichiri was cut off, due to the helicopter that was above then, and made the kasa fly away! "NOOOO!!!" screamed Chichiri in pure fury, causing him to do some spell that killed everyone around him!

"Ow...Chichiri...you, uh...burned my hair..." Tasuki said, twitching on the ground.

Chichiri looked around...and for some reason, he noticed he was back in Ancient China. "Whoa, no da. I think that explosion knocked us back home!"

Tasuki looked around. "Yeah, you're right, but your kasa was destroyed!"

Chichiri shrugged. "I have about fifty billion other ones at home, no da. So it really doesn't matter."

Tasuki's face turned red. "You mean we cheated death a half dozen times for literally nothing?!"

"Seems so, no da!"

"Sweet! We'll have to do it again sometime! At least this time there were some cool explosions...unlike some OTHER villains we've faced," Tasuki shook his head in disgrace.

"You mean the one where we had to get the thong underwear and that thick piece of pap--"

"Yes, Chichiri, that one. Now, let's all go back to the palace and...er...meditate..."

And so concludes this chapter of senseless, crude violence. I hope you enjoyed yourselves, because, this was quite an explosion fest. Oh, and if there's any reason that some of you aren't wearing your pants anymore, I have taken them. My washer shrank my pair. Well, good night!

THE END.


End file.
